More Random Silliness to Make you Giggle

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:
     12% Monday
     23% Tuesday
     40% Wednesday
     20% Thursday
       5% Friday
 * FOR SALE-Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
 * One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people
everyday.
 * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.
 * I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather,
    not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
 * West Virginia:  Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.
 * What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
 * Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?
 * It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
 *  If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
 * Hard work will pay off later, laziness pays off now!
 * When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS.
 * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
 * I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!
 * A closed mouth gathers no foot.
 * The trouble with life is there's no background music.
 * If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
 * When blondes have more fun do they know it?
 * Remember, half the people in the world are below average.
 * What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Q:  What does a caveman order in a fast food restaurant?
A:  A club sandwich

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